Wanna Date My Lawyer?

Essentially it was a poetry reading at a Venice gallery that my lawyer, Virginie, asked me to attend. Virginie is everything you could hope for in a lawyer. She's smart, a tough negotiator, cares about human beings and animals, and she's Parisian hot. She writes lovely haunting poetry, owns a house where she keeps this very large black stallion and a donkey named Jacques. So what's the problem? She needs a man. I know this sounds Neanderthal but it's true. And as a man I scratch my Neanderthal head and wonder. 'How is it such a beautiful woman can't hook up?' And trust me I've seen men (and some women) swoon over her. Virginie says that she's so forceful a presence, only men who drink have the balls to approach her. So she's been with a couple of very nice but heavy drinkers. Well, that phase is over.

Skipping forward to the closing of the gallery. Around 11 pm I said goodbye to V and her friends. It was a very pleasant night. The Santa Anas were blowing. I had one shot of cheap vodka and a smoke before I went home. You know, it was a party. (I never drink and rarely leave the house) I sat on the edge of some planter and thought about all the beautiful women I had just seen and talked to. (More on them later) From a discreet distance I watched Virginie and her friends walk outside, heading for another party - you know how those French women like their evenings. Well, in that light V was so beautiful I actually prayed for her. 'Find her a lovely, sensitive yet strong man, would ya?' I felt like lighting a candle right then and there. So, if you're an answer to that prayer leave a comment and a link. I'll email her. As for her physical requirements - a tall (not too tall) facial haired musician/artist/writer who loves horses and maybe speaks French is a plus who exudes plenty of confidence without the help of Cuervo. And fyi - she likes hair. I mean men with hair also on their head. I think V is around 32 so you do the math. As far as a prototype I know she really goes for Josh Ritter

Alright back to the party - an hour earlier. I am not a big fan of poetry readings. It's not that I dislike poetry. I've read and listened to a bunch of poetry. My wife is a published poet. (and exceptionally good looking) I think if I heard Octavio Paz reading his work I could get into that. But that would have to have been before 1998. Better yet, Scarlett Johansson could read some moderately good poetry and I would love it. Before you slam me I'm referring to her voice. Although she's not unpleasant to watch. Whatever, I'm rambling. I don't much like going to parties. I cannot make small talk so I say what's on my mind or shut up. Hence the following.

There's yet another sultry babe friend of Virginie's at this party. She's a development exec. Around 30. Dark haired California girl with brains. The kinda girl I used to go for in my single days. Only now I realize what a HUGE mistake those women were. Or, had I a rewind button, last night's woman. Here's why. She tells me she wants to get married and settle down in, "like 2 years," she adds. Only she's dating her ex-boyfriend and some other guy simultaneously. Call me old fashioned but how does this woman focus on her love life? I asked her if these two guys knew about each other. She said no. I asked her if those two guys were also dating, perhaps four other women. She said she didn't want to know. I was about to tell her that I thought she might be juggling too much to figure out who and what she wanted but anoither women entered the conversation and I let it be. Which was good because I didn't have more than a news-byte of an argument until later.

And this would have been my argument. The thing is - I think it's important to face the pain of loneliness because it can morph into something powerful. Maybe you have to pass a certain age or relationship threshhold before taking May Sarton's advice. Years ago I took Sarton to heart. I went on a May Sarton binge. Spent many months happily alone. Traveling. Feeling the inner dude. Here is Sarton's beautiful book Journal Of A Solitude

Anyway I didn't get into an argument or dating discussion with the D-Girl with 2 boyfriends. I pitched Gerad Jones to her. I am really liking his book Ginny Good But I doubt she listened. Hollywood doesn't thrive on listening but that's another post.

I'm starting a Chris Rock film tomorrow. Rock falls under the heading of nice guys with talent. Can't say much due to all the confidentiality agreements. But I'm a lucky so and so.

Ps - Note to single dudes. Add poetry readings to laundromats, coffee bars and other opportunities.

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May Sarton, Chris Rock, Scarlett Johansson, Octavio Paz, Ginny Good, Gerard Jones, Josh Ritter