Friday, December 01, 2006

What's wrong with this picture?














I am now the Head of a major motion picture studio. It is my job to greenlight movies and television. I have unlimited funds but I am also responsible to the shareholders. The stories, the cast, the music, the final say is entirely up to me. This is what I would do.

I would hire 5 full time writer consultants. And these would be very experienced writers who have a track record in creating a traditional 3 act screenplay. These writers would read and comment on the top scripts that are in development/submission process. Remember the guys who chased Butch and Sundance? Those are the guys I would hire. And they would be paid handsomely. They would be happy, funny and crotchety all at the same time.

Before shooting any film the script would be in perfect working order. Meaning exactly that. Could they be modified in shooting? Possibly if the direction or character takes on a life of its own.

I have 15 shooting stages on my lot. I would keep them all busy with films of modest budgets. Every film would include a budget for additional shooting.

I would make one blockbuster (tentpole) film a year. (with a script that is in perfect working order)

I would create an internship program that finds new talent in every area of film making and hook these 'kids' up with the departments they are interested in.

I would create a documentary film boutique and a vanity film department. The vanity films would be the projects that are difficult to make but close to the heart of the film maker. To participate in a vanity project the filmmaker would need a proven track record. I would make sure the vanity film offers participation to every key player involved in the film since everyone takes a huge hit to their usual salaries.

I would create an animation department and get Miyazaki to run it even if we had to buy an animation studio in Japan.

I would cultivate foreign films and filmmakers like never before.

I would rein in A list salaries by offering legitimate participation. I would also create an in house casting department where actors are found through legit theatre and other venues. There would be a secret motto in my casting department. It would say something like this "we don't hire models, we hire actors" I would offer Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Reese Witherspoon, Angelina Jolie and actors of quality extra incentives. They could make any vanity project they wanted.

I would take a reasonable but not ridiculous amount of money to run the studio.

Once production starts the studio would take a hands off approach to the film maker. Let directors direct with all of the creative powers they have. If a film isn't working it is our fault because the script didn't work in the first place.

For the TV department I would hire WC Dixon, Dennis McGrath, Ken Levine and anyone else they wanted except Aaron Sorkin. (Just kidding boys)

So that's my idea on how to save the film business. Create a company where people love coming to work on movies that just might say a little something. Or not. Comments certainly welcome. If I get any major studio offers I will also get those 5 writers to contribute to Reel Hollywood.

As a side note - at my Mom's Thanksgiving dinner she has a friend who is a cop. He came by on his motorcycle, in full uniform. He ate with us. I mentioned the Chris Rock video on how not to get your ass kicked by the police. He laughed and said it was awesome. At the end of the meal he quoted from the Rock video. And I wish I had a video camera because you would have seen an East Indian motorcycle cop saying "He got weed, he got weed!"

6 comments:

ME said...

So where do I send my resume, LOL?
I like the way you think, Portnoy. Hell, I just like you.

You need a Canadian office to leverage co-production opportunities.

And can I make you sign a pledge not to re-make a perfectly good movie into a piece of crap just because this generation hasn't seen it? Please?

One of my favourite little movies of all time is The Spitfire Grill.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Spitfire_Grill

Not saying it didn't have its problems as a script, but the end result wasn't bad and it makes me cry every time, so it isn't all bad.

I like what it was trying to say and I like what happened with the profits of the movie.

Why can't there be more projects that have substance to them, that lift people up and inspire them? In movies and in tv.

Good Dog said...

Yeah, I was thinking there should be a ruling on no remakes just because folk can't think up a better idea.

Anyone who comes in to pitch a remake of a film that has names like Welles or Wilder in the credits is given a shovel and driven out to the desert. Never. To. Return.

wcdixon said...

Perchance to dream...

Love the wish list...but the one thing in there that is the most necessary yet most difficult to achieve is:

"Before shooting any film the script would be in perfect working order."

I don't know that any film doesn't try for that...I can't imagine it anyway. In tv, a lot of times you'll 'settle' because of the pressure and demands of a 'pump 'em out' schedule, but films generally have the time/opportunity to 'get it right'. I just think there are so many factors and intangibles that come into play along the way that are impossible to foresee. Which makes it such a crapshoot. I still contest nobody sets out to make a bad movie.

But the remakes and sequels could do with a rest.

Scott Stambler said...

wc - the reality is bad scripts get made constantly. i think it's the packaging and availability. the problem is the studios never fess up to the bad script. somehow they think a sinking ship will right itself with enough notes and professional sailors.

nope. i don't buy it. i agree that the 'writer' sets out to make a great script but once that thing is turned into the studio machine - it gains flies like a cheap suit. or somehing like that.

Riddley Walker said...

Damn!

I'll even make the friggin' coffee if I have to.

And dig holes in the desert when required... ;-)

Top stuff, Portnoy!

Sal said...

Top idea. Can I come and work for you too?