Our golden retriever just got his - well - he'll be shootin blanks for the rest of his dog days. The thing is, he likes to put his head on my laptop while I'm writing. And I usually shoe him away. But tonight he's extra special. So I won't treat him like Bill Sikes treats his animal.
The dog looked up, and growled.
"See here, boy!" said Sikes, putting his other hand to Oliver's throat; "if he speaks ever so soft a word, hold him! D'ye mind!"
The dog growled again; and licking his lips, eyed Oliver as if he were anxious to attach himself to his windpipe without delay.
Anyway while he rests his cone on the laptop I'm thinking nobody has ever used their freshly neutered dog as an excuse for or against writing. Yes dogs have eaten plenty of homework and I'm sure there are other fantastic variants but there's something about this coneheaded guy whose manhood got suddenly diminished.
Can I relate? Sure, why not. I can't figure it all out right now but I have a feeling it's balled up inside my brain. (Did I say 'balled' up?) It's got to have everything to do with age and angst and insecurities and all the 'ieties' that make the therapy merry go round. and round. and round. Personally I think movie therapists are the only practitioners who treat with real success. (Success being a changed human being) I refer to Judd Hirsch as Dr. Tyrone C. Berger in the film "Ordinary People". I haven't seen it in years. It's a powerful movie with performances by Mary Tyler Moore that will blow you away. (So you know - I am not a Tom Cruisologist who doesn't believe in psychiatry. )
The other shrink I can relate to is Dr Marvin Monroe. Only I think he's more a GP. Does it matter? My point is real change comes from within. When people utter prayers like "God help me to not smoke today" I think they are directing their prayers in the wrong direction. But that's me and I'm in the mood for rambling.
Okay - now that that is out I'll update the work situation. It's still tense but I'm learning to read the weather. Improvisation and pseudo self confidence are the theme each day. In other words I assume airs. (So you know - I've been in this business a very long time. I know how good I am. And I am damn good. But when the czar must find a way of putting people down for the sake of show one needs to learn to bounce. I realize it's all cryptic but that's all I can give.)
In closing - I can't apologize for my blogging speed. I don't want to write unless I have something to say. In this case I don't want to leave my last post up another day. Part of me bemoans the lack of a 'Hollywood' theme and for that I do apologize. But that's that, mattress man.
I do want to mention those who have written encouraging words and for that i say God Bless. I take my Pope baton and wave it at you all. (what is that thing the pope waves at people?)
Zen Wizard, your writing has been fantastic. I meant to leave some posts on your site and will do so. ZenWizard, aspiring crime novelist
ps - the picture is not our dog. ours is one year old. he's creme colored. very handsome. and quite pathetic right now. sort of like a drunken sailor in a tight parking spot. i wonder if any of us will sleep tonight with him banging that cone on the wall.
28 comments:
I hate when dogs have to wear those things. I tried one once and it cut into my neck. Cats are worse with them.
Poor doggie with the cone ... don't laugh at him, he knows you're making fun and he's had a rough couple of days. Reilly sends his condolences and says that while the physical scars may heal, he still really hates other males that still have their tackle and tries to beat them up, eight years later. I know having the pooch, er, altered, always affects men advertisely so condolences to you, too.
Glad you're keeping your head above water in the work situation. Being able to read the weather is a pretty darn good skill and remember, you are counting the days. Take heart in the fact that once the gig is up, people will be really impressed that you lasted it through without going postal or crazy (well, crazier).
You haven't missed much here. I had a colossally bad new year's eve (surprise surprise). I did my bestest Rachael Ray impersonation last night and wowed my girlfriends with a full out Sunday roast dinner, including homemake yorkshire pudding. I shocked even myself.
I am in new year's funk / procrastination mode, and I have to get my butt in gear because there are many things needing doing right now but brushing the cat or re-arranging the spice cupboard seem suddenly more urgent (bad m
Re: the Pope, I do believe you refer to the papal staff.
Hi,U have a very nice blog and I like your idea about Richard Gere:)
Look,I have a web-side http://www.deadseashops.com/,so maby its can be interested for u
P.S maby not :)
Thank u for unswer :)
caroline - the Papal Staff? aren't those the people who bring him breakfast evry morning?
chumly - hopefully you didn't try one for the same reasons my dog has to wear one.
dead sea princess. that is a fantastic moniker. i see Johnny Depp in your future. Pirates of The Dead Sea.
caroline again. my new years - midnight was spent waiting at LAX for the wife and kids to arrive from NY. it was incredibly surreal. at 11:59 (as i sat in a chair near the United baggage claims area) i imagined that I might have to kiss which ever woman was in my sightline at exaclty midnight. (my imagination runs wild constantly)
so this is true. a larger than life very pretty but extremely overweight black woman who looks as if she's dressed for church - sits down directly across from me at 11:59:04
this amuses me to no end. i don't know why. usually becasue i am asleep by 9:40 pm. at 11:59:42 she gets out of her chair and walks away. I am left with my imagination and no one to kiss at midnight.
my wife and kids arrive about a half hour later. it just isn't the same.....
Merriam Webster Dictionary:
Main Entry: staff
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English staf, from Old English stæf; akin to Old High German stab staff, Sanskrit stabhnAti he supports
a long stick carried in the hand for support in walking; a supporting rod (archaic); shaft; a crosspiece in a ladder or chair; rung; flagstaff; a bivoted arbor; club or cudgel; crosier; A ROD CARRIED AS A SYMBOL OF OFFICE OR AUTHORITY; the horizontal lines with their spaces on which music is written -- called also stave;any of various graduated sticks or rules used for measuring; rod; five plural staffthe officers chiefly responsible for the internal operations of an institution or business; a group of officers appointed to assist a civil executive or commanding officer; military or naval officers not eligible for operational command; the personnel who assist a director in carrying out an assigned task e plural staff; a member of a staff
And for context, from Psalm 23, the Psalm of David:
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want .... thy rod and staff they shall comfort me ....
Sounds like you had a lucky escape New Year's Eve. I can only imagine the extent of your imagination ;-)
Moxie sends your dogs licks and nose bonks. Just think of it this way fella, you'll never have to wear a condom again ;)
I've got the movie and the black hearted producers figured out. I love a good puzzle. And, I'm glad you're back. Visit more often--huh?
Real cute doggie!
Oooh I wanna see your dog Portnoy! uff..
Oh well, cheers then :)
Hope your dog's feeling better now, and that the Blackened Fish guys haven't driven you totally bonkers. Happy New Year! (with or without kisses)
Thanks for the shout-out on the crime novel--it is coming along nicely.
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But the light bulb has got to want to change...
My friend, Portnoy!
I, too, have had what seemed an incurable case of writer's block. Or should that be just "writer's NOT", in my case, as not a single word have I uttered in the blogosphere since prior to Turkey-Day...
Thanks for the warm wishes on my blog--I can relate to your work sitch, though I no longer work 'for the man', just for myself when I'm not busy with the duties & joys of raising Girlie & the Great one.
Best wishes to your pooch, and may this current work stint (almost wrote stink...appropo, no?) fly by blissfully quickly and lead to better stuff in the future.
~Peg
you do that to him and then don't even give him the pleasure of licking up afterwards?
You're a very mean master.
Write soon- everyone misses you. And I don't think anyone cares if it's hollywood themed or not.
Your picture reminds me of this one.
Maybe you can get them together?
Nice setup you have here~!
Has the poor conehead recovered from his trauma? I thought of him when one of Reilly's pals turned up to the park in a cone. Also, are you surviving your traumas of late? We worry when you go quiet.
How is your puppy now that he's lost his noodle?
: )
well - he acts like it was nothing at all. sorta like "Is that all you got?"
"Here take more off, I'm a stud."
That's your boy ;-) Glad he's recovered enough to give you 'tude about it.
Have you read "the artist's way"?
It may help you if your having some creative blocks.
Shanti
p.s. Dogs get over their surgery much faster then we do because they don't know they're ill.
Poor puppy! Lost his manhood AND he has to wear that thing. :(
: )
Howdy...
:D
Hope all is well in LA
How can a ferret help us in the fight against the flu?
Find out the answer at Jonny Rage (http://jonathanrage.blogspot.com)
Hey you. Don't worry, you don't have to write about Hollywood all of the time. I'll still read.
Aw, poor little guy! They hate those cones!
I hope your work for the Devil and his son is over soon, Portnoy.
Those cone things are so entertaining. When our dog had to wear one she nearly went mental trying to shake it off! I only found you by accident 'next blog' hopping. I have a blog too, though it's quite different to this one. I'm at gledwood2.blogspot.com. Feel free to drop round! Take care now and all the best
Yours truly
Gledwood
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